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Johnnie Cochran pleads his final case in front of the pearly gates.


Characters - Johnnie Cochran, God

Johnnie:What was that?
God:Johnnie Cochran!
Johnnie:Jesus Christ!
God:Well, no. It's God. But close enough. You have crossed over to the other side. Prepare to face your final judgment.
Johnnie:Judged? Oh good. I do well with judges.
God:You have done good in your life, but you have also done evil. You enabled murderers to go free, pedophiles to molest again, criminals to return to crime...
Johnnie:Whachu talkin' bout, Willis?
God:Yes, Todd Bridges too. What have you to say for yourself?
Johnnie:I was one HELL of a lawyer, wasn't I?
God:It is ironic that you should mention that place. In light of the evidence, you will spend the rest of eternity in the fiery depths of...
Johnnie:Your Honor I object!
God:Call me "God", not "Your Honor". You can go with "Lord" if you're more comfortable with that.
Johnnie:Lord, I object.
God:On what grounds?
Johnnie:On holy grounds, of course. I will stand here until I am admitted into heaven. If I do not sit, you must admit.
God:Are you serious?
Johnnie:Serious, but not delirious. I will plead until I can proceed. I will procrastinate until I can pass the gate. I will contend until I can ascend. Can I get an Amen?
Johnnie:Can I get a "Praise the Lord"?
God:Praise me.
Johnnie:Can I get into heaven?
God:Well... I suppose.
Johnnie:Thank you your mercifulness.
God:Wow. He's IS good.